Gerra & Lampa having candlelight dinner together

In a bid to boost the harmony between midfield players Gerra & Lampa, Englend manager Cupello forced the 2 of them to have a candlelight dinner together.

Both came an hour late and actually bumped into each other at the restaurant's entrance. No smiles, no handshakes, no kisses, not a single word. As they knew spies were around to check if they actually dined together, they had no choice but to proceed to the table.

Gerra : ...
Lampa: ...

The waiter approaches the table.

Waiter: The soup for the day is...
Lampa: Shut up and serve the damn food.
Gerra : Hey u Fu*k. He's nothing to do with this. Watch your fu*king words.
Lampa: hey gerr-gerr, i ain't speaking anything to u. so u jolly well ...
Gerra : Just suck it man. U can go suc* some shit.
Waiter: Er.. so u guys want to skip the soup?

Lampa: Do we look like we need some soup?
Gerr: Give me a Cream of mushroom. And 1 of your kitchen knives.
Waiter: Kitchen knife?
Gerr: Yea. I have a bad habit of looking at knives everytime I'm at a restaurant.
Lampa: Make it 2.
Gerr: He meant the soup. Just 1 big, sharp knife for me. I love to see those sharp, shining edges.
Lampa: Give me a fire extinguisher then. I have a bad habit of looking at fire extinguishers everytime I'm at a restaurant.
Waiter: Erm.. k then. So it's 2 cream of mushroom, 1 knife, and 1 fire extinguisher?
Lampa & Gerr: Yea. And don't tell anyone our "special" requests.
Waiter: I promise.

While waiting for the food...
Lampa: If boss didn't send his spies, I would have hidden behind the potted plant, and kick your b*lls when u arrived.
Gerr: I would have just run u over when u were crossing the street.
Lampa: Hey u bloo*y piece of deer-sh*t ...
Gerr: Enough is enough. U know they're watching.

At this moment, Cupello came in carrying the fire extinguisher and the kitchen knife.
Cupello: I heard u punks asked for these?
Gerr & Lampa : Ha boss. U gotta be joking.
Cupello: The waiter told me all about it.

After dinner, both Gerr & Lampa requested to visit the restroom.
The waiter didn't live another day.